Relationships - Loneliness
To feel lonely is to be taken over by a terrible feeling of separateness of being totally on your own. We feel anxious, abandoned, insecure and unloved. It is a feeling that no one care for us, that we have lost everything. We are swamped by an awful aching desolation.
Modern society makes it worse
Modern lifestyles have tended to make people more susceptible to loneliness. Changing jobs, moving house, family break-ups, divorce, friends moving away, all can contribute to this feeling of isolation. Older people are particularly at risk as changing circumstances break comforting areas of life. Retirement can bring loss of purpose and status. Children grow up and move away. Perhaps a spouse or good fried dies and there is a sense of being outcast. It is not so easy to make friends when you are older and so many people live on their own.
Loneliness can be overcome if you really wish to do so. It is not easy and needs time to consider the reasons you feel lonely and constant application to put in place positive things that will help.
If you are someone who finds being on your own difficult and constantly seeks the companionship of others to block out inner loneliness. It might be worthwhile learning how to feel more relaxed in your own company. It may help to come to a better understanding of who you are and what you want. Yoga, meditation or perhaps just writing a diary may help you to relax and find a calmer view of yourself. Find something that really interests you and that gives you pleasure in it. Once you can face yourself, you relationships with others will improve.
If you spend a lot of time on your own because you feel uncomfortable in a social situation, classes in raising self-esteem and assertiveness training may be helpful. Most adult education institutions offer courses.
If you are just out of practice in meeting people, try taking small steps initially and talk to people in shops or at the bus stop. Nothing heavy. Go for small interactions with people as you go out and about. Look for suitable opportunities. You may find it easier to join a local society or club and meet people who have a similar interest as yourself. Libraries are good for lists of local activities. Join a class and learn something new. A beginner’s class will put you on the same level as others. Spend a few hours a week as a volunteer for a cause that interests you.
If the problem remains it may be helpful to talk to a councillor or psychotherapist who will help you to explore and understand your problems and courage to face and change the situation.
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Note: 4 Elderly health provides this site for information purposes only and insists that you should consult a doctor before engaging in anything mentioned here.